Disallusionment...

looking out a window
closing a door
nothing in life is as it was before
Before i realized people do get away
with murder
mothers tolerate far too much
and some don't love
and fathers lie
and people suffer
die
and the question
who am i
follows me
everywhere
as I practice being better
than the people who
 have and will
disallusion me
through trickery, lies, manipulation
numbing, red eyed
an all over heavy hurt
in my head
my gut
looking out the window dazed
walking out the door but no relief
no way to undo a thing.
p. malafronte(2010)